I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
