Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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