It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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