just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
