what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
