I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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