Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize