Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
