love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Your dad touched me again.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
