bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
