If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize