belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
