I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
