Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
