chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize