You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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