dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
In America we eat man semen.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
