Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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