Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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