Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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