Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize