dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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