So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
