Already got asked if we're dating
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
