So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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