She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
