is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
