he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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