the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
