Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
