Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
