Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
