I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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