is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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