Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
