We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
