The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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