so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize