I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
