More tranny stories later!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
