You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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