Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
