id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
