So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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