We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
