Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
