tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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