Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its not stalking. its research.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
