Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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