His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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