He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
