he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
