When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
