We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
