Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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