I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
