she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
