I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
