Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
A bitchslap is in order.
Panties = found
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