I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my sisters under your porch take her home
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
