You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
