I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
