i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
