I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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