she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
love makes seman taste better
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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