quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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