Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
