craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
