names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
