where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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