nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
