U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
