Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
