i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
