i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Randomize
